The Kanye West Of Videogames

My thoughts on Bioshock Infinite

Who’s the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?

I completed Bioshock Infinite yesterday and I can honestly say in all my years of gaming, this is one of the biggest pieces of garbage I’ve ever suffered. The whole game boils down to constant rooty-tooty-point-and-shooty with PRESS SQUARE TO DO FUCKING EVERYTHING sprinkled on top. The game looks like shit (although maybe some slight credit is due for not being grey and brown like most shooters nowadays), the voice acting for Booker is terrible and the music entirely forgettable.

The storyline not clever in the slightest. Something making zero sense does not equate to “deep” and if you think its brand of quantum bollocks is good I suggest you go watch the Bing Bong Theory as your understanding of the subject is clearly bazinga-tier.

I could forgive all of this nonsense if the game was fun to play, but it’s not. It’s too easy with ammo, health, salt and guns and dosh being chucked at you ad infinitum by Elizabeth and you’ll become OP as fuck very early on with the gear you find. On the rare occasions you do die, you’re respawned with no penalty other than losing a few coins (which are all over the place anyway) so there is literally no challenge in the game whatsoever. There is no reason to play. At all.

I’ve got to give some congratulations to 2K Games’ marketing department for making everyone believe that Bioshock Infinite is the best thing since sucked dicks, but shame on most other people involved. Shame on Irrational Games for creating this turd of a game. Shame on reviewers for taking the shill dollars and lying to readers about the quality of this crap. But, most importantly, shame on the player who is too cowardly to admit Bioshock Infinite is a fucking cancer in the gaming industry and who will just propogate more trash like this in the future because its put up on a pedestal and hailed as something it’s clearly not.